we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Need sex. Gaining weight.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Floor bacon is actually really good
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
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