Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
