My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
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