that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
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There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
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