even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the prime rib incident all over again
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
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