did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
