I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Randomize
