look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
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