He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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