if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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