grandma shit on top of the toilet
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize