is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize
