This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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