i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
I have feelings that need drinking.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize