i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize