i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
