i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
