ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
We have so much sex to catch up on
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
