That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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