STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
