I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
and you said cock pushups were impossible
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Randomize
