I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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