I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Couch. On fire.
Randomize
