Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
There's always time for handjobs
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
