who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Randomize
