uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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