I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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