That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Randomize
