I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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