I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
Randomize