just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Liz is crying about burritos again.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Randomize