i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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