Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
