I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Randomize
