guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
