i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
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