I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
The dick lei will go down in squad history
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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