I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Randomize
