this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Can you bring me the toilet please
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
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