Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
