Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
