i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
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