Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
