We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Randomize
