you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
