my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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