mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Randomize