Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
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How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize