I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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