I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Randomize
