Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
i think i have herpe
just one?
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
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