I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
That reminds me...we need to get swords
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Randomize
