i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
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