I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
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She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
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And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
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