Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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