Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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