what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
