What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
