that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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