She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I AM VODKA MAN
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Randomize
