She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
We talked him into tasing himself.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
