i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
