he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
I haven't been this sober since birth.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
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