Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
