the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Randomize
