you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
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